I was a longtime devoted Mumps fan, and in June '79, I got the call I had literally dreamt of: Kristian asked me to join the band, to replace -- well, no one could replace Kevin -- but to be the new bass player. I spent the next three weeks practicing the repertoire while ostensibly working at Manic Panic, famed punk-rock clothing shop on St. Mark's Place, during the day, and rehearsing with the band at night. My first show as a Mump: Friday-Saturday 7/6-7/79 at the Rocker Room on E. 48th Street, a seafood restaurant by day/New Wavery by night.....oddly, I remember almost nothing about the sets themselves, probably due to the extra-curricular activity which took place.

The Friday show went OK, but there were some bad vibes between Xtian and Lance on Saturday. It reached a mini-apex after the show, when Lance threw a punch at K. Like the 12th degree black belt that he is, Kristian neatly sidestepped the blow, thereby allowing it to follow through to the club owner, who was standing behind him. The Three Stooges couldn't have made it look better!

Since things were going so well, I decided to add to the fun by stealing some beer. Spying a couple cases of Bud in the kitchen that looked like they needed a good home, Liz and Ruth Seidman and I broke open the boxes and began filling a large black garbage bag with the 12-ouncers. The bag now bulging and slung over my shoulder, we casually strolled out the door and headed east on 48th, with James Brown's "Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto" playing in my petty-thieving head. As we neared the corner of Madison, the plan began to fall apart, as did the bag. Bottle after bottle smashed on the sidewalk, drawing the attention of......the club owner, who was walking on the other side of 48th (no doubt on his way home to put a steak on his Loud-induced shiner -- Lance was strong!). He ran over and grabbed me and the remaining beer -- I think Ruth and Liz bailed out at this point -- thanks, girls! -- and marched me back to the club, literally by the scruff of my neck. Once back there, he asked, "So what should I do, punch you in the head?" "Uh, no," I wittily replied. Much to my surprise, I was not summarily dismissed from the band at that point, probably because they didn't want to go through the hassle of teaching yet another neophyte the songs.